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| Book Cover. Mass Market Paperback. |
Rating: 2.7 stars out of 5.
The misconception I had when I'd just been one chapter into this book: 5 stars. I know I'm going to give this 5 stars!
*exhales loudly*
When I started this book- when I was still on the 'Before' part- out of nowhere I had this thought that startled me into stopping, and then smiling for no reason, before I resumed back to reading.
BEFORE YOU CONTINUE, KNOW THAT THIS REVIEW IS CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS. SO PROCEED ONLY IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT.
A quiet certainty had snuggled it's way in my heart, that I would give this book a full 5-stars rating. I was loving it, the characters were kickass and funny and so very cute, each page had something new so.. why not?
I felt warmed, all the awesomeness making me feel giddy and excited and I thought to myself that it'd been days since I had as good a read as this- so I promptly ditched all the stuff that I had to do and settled into my favorite seat by the window. Sooner than I would've liked, my expectations and happiness got shadowed by the shock and indignation of the change in story, slowly turning to disbelief and finally condensing on being incensed.
It's simply shocking how the rating fell from 5 stars to a mere 3, isn't it? I wasn't even sure about the 3. As you can see, it's even less than that.
I loved the young Daisy, the girl who was so.. colorful! Colorful- that's the description that I find her personality to be. She was funny, smart, playful, loving, sarcastic, curious, open and so sweet! She was everything, the 24 year-old Daisy or Theo as she liked to be called, was not.
I'm not begrudging Theo her success or even her svelte, but the brittle, narrow-minded lady was a far cry from the young, curious Daisy.
And James, that douche, don't even get me started on him! He was adorable in the beginning. I loved his uncertainties, his smile and his wit.. his love for Theo, him. I loved him.
And then he turned into an idiot and broke my heart.
How is it not stupid to LEAVE BLOODY ENGLAND FOR 7 YEARS, GIVING NEITHER HIDE NOR HAIR ABOUT HIS WHEREABOUTS TO HIS WIFE- WHO HE SUPPOSEDLY BLOODY LOVED FOR GODS SAKES- AND FAMILY AND THEN RETURN EXPECTING YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE ALRIGHT AGAIN? HOW???
AND DID I MENTION HOW AFTER MAYBE 2 YEARS (OR WAS IT 9 MONTHS? PLEASE EXCUSE MY FAULTY MEMORY, I'M A LITTLE HAZY HERE) HE STARTED SLEEPING AROUND BECAUSE IN HIS EYES THE MARRIAGE WAS OVER. DAISY HAD SAID THE MARRIAGE WAS OVER SO IT WAS OKAY TO SLEEP AROUND.
I MEAN-
I'M JUST-
I don't think the "how" I asked earlier expressed my frustrations, so I ask again: HOW WAS IT NOT STUPID? AND SELFISH? AND STUPID A COUPLE OF MORE TIMES? BLOODY FUCKING HOW?!
Also of course, when James came back his explanation was: Because you said it was over.
Yes. He literally said that, and no that wasn't the moment I threw the book on the floor and screamed like an angry banshee.
“I stopped thinking of you as my spouse some years ago, as I’m sure you did of me.”
And, also:
“Two days of marriage failed to impress itself upon me. I am fairly certain most men would understand my lapse.”
I believe my reaction was somewhere along the lines- *sputtering* OH NO, YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT! ASSHOLE.
In my mind I'd stabbed him a hundred times, alternating between kicking and punching and sometimes, just yelling unintelligibly.
When Theo proposed divorce, when she firmly (or tried to, man, there were so many things that were wrong with her too) said that she wanted a divorce, his reply was:
“The marriage was over. But now I’m back.”
But now I’m back. The utter bastard.
By God, that was the moment I wished I could slap the living daylights out of him. This was the moment when I threw the book on the floor and screamed like an angry banshee.
I just never imagined Eloisa James would disappoint me as much as she did with this book. I know that not all her books end up being my favorites, they're not all awesome.. but still there's something in them that just makes it okay. Even if it ends up being just a nice read, it's still all okay. But this, this was the kind of disappointment that- if I were an overly emotional personal, I would say- just broke my heart.
Maybe I'm being too harsh, too judgmental, but I'd grown too attached to the young, completely AWESOME Daisy and James, grown too in love with their characters of 'Before', that when they separated and turned into idiots, it actually, totally crushed me. I knew there were going to be complications coming up, since James had married Daisy untruthfully, even though he did very much love her.. But the way it exploded into smithereens of convoluted logic just threw me off my balance. And of course, the loss of the awesomeness of the characters just grated.. A LOT.
By the time that the ending rolled out, it was pretty much that James helped dissolve Daisy's repressed anger worth of 7 years by seducing her and continuing the whole hot, torrid seduction for a few pages until later it was time for Epilogue and we finally got a decent ending.
If I ever feel anything like the roiling emotions of despair and heartbreak- that I felt through this book- after a breakup, I'd probably be sitting in some bar, staring into my half-full glass of Jack Daniels and indulging myself in a depressed drunken wonder: How did- When did- Why did it all go so wrong?
This review can also be read on my Goodreads profile.
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